a heart like Ephesus

I apologize in advance for the sporadic nature of this blog. There is so much going on right now that I have a lot to share!

First, I am struck by how incredibly God provides insight in the smallest areas of our lives. My roommate made me a BEAUTIFUL cake for my birthday! The only problem was that I also got 6 bags of chocolate/candy treats from America, lemon bars, brownies, and ice cream cake for my birthday. Needless to say, our house is swimming in sugar goodness right now. I am trying to exhibit self-control, so I thought that I would share with some of the other staff. I gave my ice cream cake to the girls who live 2 doors down, froze most of the chocolate I got as a gift so I could eat it over a longer period of time, gave away my brownies to staff members, and decided to cut up my cake to dish out to various houses. A young mother here on campus had helped my roommate come up with decorating ideas, and had loaned her some supplies so we decided to give her a big piece to share with her family. My really good friend has her mom staying here so we cut up a large piece for her, her mom, and her roommate, but then we still had one considerable chunk left that had no designated home. I decided to wrap it up and I had 2 different ideas on who to give it to and I just thought when I started walking in that direction I would make up my mind. I walked out of my door and who is standing in the cafeteria but my thai teacher. The very one that I have been praying and thinking about how to show her I care and appreciate her. It was so perfect! I gave her the chunk of cake and she was so touched and appreciative. I know that it seems so small, but these small acts of love speak volumes in our relationships with the thai staff. God knew that that small piece of cake would just bring us that much closer. I am so glad I was not selfish and decide to keep that cake for myself!

On a secondary note, I was also really convicted today in church. There was a video series that they started today because they did not have anyone available to preach. I was not really that excited about it and I was started thinking of other things like all the work I needed to do when I got back home. As I slowly started tuning in, I realized he was speaking to me! The series is on the seven churches in Revelations. It focuses on one church in every message so this week it was on the church in Ephesus. I realize in many ways my heart matches the heart of this church. He was saying on paper it looks like they have it all together. They have sound doctrine, the give generously in church, they know the Bible/Sunday School answers, but they are dealing with the sin of a lack of love. He continued to talk about how when we get easily annoyed, frustrated, angry, etc. with people, we are sinning in responding with those emotions instead of responding in love. I was so convicted in thinking about my relationships with people here at the school. I find it very easy to love my students and to love the thai teachers, my thai friends at the gym, even my friends at the restaurants I eat at. It's because they don't know God. I have so much more patience and love for them. However, the people I work with I struggle with many. I am easily frustrated, I get annoyed with them over little things, I have no patience. I think this is because I don't feel like I need to love them in the same way. I don't feel like I need to extend God's love to them because they already have it. They are aware of the love of God in a way that my non-believer friends are not. I suffer from a sin of with holding love. I know that Paul writes about how his love abounds for the believers in Philippi with knowledge and depth of insight. I was struck that the people who I have the hardest time loving are the ones that I know the least. The ones that I don't have the patience to get to know or even the desire to get to know. I know that I do not have to be best friends with everyone, but in Thailand where the body of Christ is so spread-out and few and far between, I am not doing much to unify it. I would appreciate prayers to deepen my love for my brothers and sisters in Christ. So often I pray to see the Thai people through God's eyes but I have never prayed to see fellow believers through His eyes. Last year I learned how to love transcending culture, and I think this year God is trying to teach me how to love within it.