Year One Complete!

So I just said goodbye to my first class! It's sad to see them go and I will miss not having them next year. I wish we could just take a 2-month break and then pick up right where we started off again. BUT next year is new and will be exciting with a lot of challenges. I come home in 6 days so this will probably be the last blog you get from me until next June. I just wanted to stop and say thank you for all of your prayers and all of your support! It truly did mean a lot to me! I am going to use this break to really rest in the Lord and rejunivante myself for next year. While I loved this year it was also draining and taxing. I don't think I would have traded it for anything though. Pray for these little ones when they come to your mind. I worry that as they continue to grow older the things of God will be less and less meaningful to them and their attitude may become bored and unattentive. I know that God has a way of working beyond all these things though and I pray that He would continue to place people in their lives who will water the seeds that were planted here this year. Some students will not be returning in June but they will be carrying these truths with them wherever they may go  next year. I feel blessed that God would use me in these place and with these children. Today for a last activity we did class superlatives. One of the categories was "someone who is a true friend." A number of my students wrote God or Jesus. This made my heart smile and I just hope that this really takes root in their heart and it would be something that they can draw and lean on throughout their whole life. I think exciting things are going to continue taking place in these students lives and I feel blessed to be able to glimpse small pieces of it! Thank you for caring and praying for these precious children that you have never met. ;)

Thank you! :)

So after much prayer and a wonderful relaxing weekend on an island away from everything having to do with school, I feel much refreshed and rested. Thank you so much for your prayers---they have been felt in Thailand! Here is a little video to say thank you! In chapel we sing "This is the day" in Thai and I recorded my students doing it afterwards. The words in English (in case you are unfamiliar with the song) says, "This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it! This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made!" So simple but such a wonderful truth! :)

a little dose of honesty...

I haven't been completely honest in this blog these last few weeks. I have tried to remain positive and upbeat, and only share good things so maybe it would change my heart a little bit. BUT if I am being completely honest, I was in a dark place. I was moody, grumpy, selfish, needy, and a little depressed! (okay, maybe more than a little!) I was in this awful funk and I was so miserable with everything! I was tired of my students, I had lost all my joy, I was angry with people at home, things going on here at school---every time I turned around there was something else that had gone wrong or had made me angry or had hurt my feeling or made me frustrated. On top of that, we have been subbing for our Thai teachers like crazy so our hours are crazy and with no planning periods and grades due soon, it was just not a good combination. I was blaming it on lack of sleep and being overworked but that was not the case. I was being attacked! I was being robbed of my joy in my purpose here! God kept bringing Psalm 51:12 to my attention though, "Restore to me the JOY of my salvation!" I had lost my joy in the very thing that had brought me to Thailand in the first place! That verse truly became my prayer. I even wrote it out and taped it to my desk. My students were curious as to why it was there so I shared with them that they learn verses, and I memorize verses too because it is important that we treasure God's Word in our hearts. They now all want to memorize this verse as well as their weekly verse! :) God is faithful! This past Thursday, which had the potential to be the hardest and most taxing day I've had yet, turned out to be a wonderful blessing! God is upholding me with his willing Spirit! :) I would just ask for prayers that the God of hope would fill me with his joy and peace!

just to share...

Here is a song my friend shared with me and I thought I would pass along the favor. It's by Shane and Shane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eun34_2EmaQ

Say a little prayer!

In chapel at the start of the semester, we were working on how to grow spiritually. The things we really emphasized were reading our Bibles and praying everyday (We even have a little song we sang EVERY week to go along with that theme!). I was really convicted in my planning and teaching of chapel. I had let school overtake my daily conversations with God. Instead of waking up and talking to Him and reading from His Word, I would be making copies, or answering emails, or getting materials and supplies together before school. God really got a hold of me and showed me that I wasn't living what I was teaching to these kids. If I am a Christian and I don't make spending time with God a priority, how can I expect my little Buddhist students to do that very practice? SO I decided to wake up a half hour earlier everyday and go to my classroom and bathe my day, my students, my family, my friends, and myself in prayer everyday before school. I have been pretty faithful and consistent in doing so and I have seen God answer so many prayers and requests in that little half hour. For example, this might seem so small but it was so HUGE to me! We are making volcanoes in Grade three right now. And today was paper mache' day! I was SO stressed about how it was going to go. My students are not the neatest and we had a little incident with paint first semester that has made me a little gun-shy! I have been so worried about letting my students do this project. I decided instead of worrying though I would let God have His way in it. Can I just tell you, my students were phenomenal! I thought they got taken over by some strange clean creatures or something! They even asked if they could help other groups clean up! It was WONDERFUL! God is faithful to answer even in the small matters. I never would have thought to ask him to help our paper mache craft go smoothly last year, or even last semester, but I am learning that God's love reaches so deep and vast that he cares about even these little bumps and hiccups that cause us to stress and worry.

I have been talking to many family and friends right now who are scared, nervous, or unsure about the future or even the present situations. Where there is a God, there is a way! Give your worry a break and give it to Him to carry! :)

little heart to hearts!

So in the spirit of Valentines Day I thought I would share some heart to hearts that I have had with my students lately. To be honest I haven't really had chances to skype with anyone back home in a while and I don't always like to talk to the teachers here about school because we live and breathe it all day. So I have been treasuring these things up in my heart for a while and I feel the need to write them down and share them to encourage myself in a way and to help others know what is going on so they can remind, look how God is working! To share a little of MY heart first I am starting to get discouraged and my focus is getting divided. I just experienced a really hard issue with a friend at home that I don't think I handled correctly and she didn't take the time to understand my feelings either. To top that off I think I am running myself ragged, I'm so tired and there is just no break in sight and my students and I are getting in that very comfortable place where it is easy but I also get very very very easily annoyed with them. I like change and I am looking forward to next year. God has to keep reminding me to keep my focus in the present...one day at a time. Anyways, all this to say that even in all this attack my heart has been experiencing, God has allowed me to have truly precious times with my students that I just want to share.
***Fuji*** This student makes me smile. He is SO smart and So intelligent. The way he thinks and acts, he is every teacher's dream. I went through a stage where I struggled with him as my teacher's pet but I truly love him so much and his heart is so big. The other day in tutoring all of a sudden he began to cry because he doesn't have any friends. The other boys in the class like football (soccer for you Americans! :)) and Yugi cards and legos and Fuji likes to read. He doesn't fit in because they don't enjoy the same things. He just said he was so sad that no one wanted to be his friend. I told him about how I went through a similar thing in school and he asked me what helped me and at that time in my life was when Jesus became real and became my best friend and it was so neat to see how a time of such loneliness for me as a child could be used to minister to a little hurting boy on the other side of the world years later. He told me that he was going to start praying to Jesus whenever he felt alone to see if it made him feel better.
***Winnie***If I had to have a favorite it would be Winnie. This girl is so so precious to me. I almost want to hold her back just so I can have her again. She is so shy and quiet but when it is just the two of us in the room its unbelievable how she transforms. This week I spoke in chapel about how we have to clean up our hearts. If we put garbage into our hearts, that is what comes out of them. After school, Winnie came into my room and said that sometimes she says bad words because she knows she puts that garbage into her heart with the movies and music she listens to. She said that she wanted to try to clean up her heart so bad words wouldn't come out. Its a start! She is listening in chapel and trying to apply the things to her life!
***Folk*** Oh this child! He has been the concern from the start! He is the boy who brought in all those weapons to school, he is the child who I was contemplating over holding back or not, he is the lowest in everything and gives the least effort, AND has the scary guardian to boot! But I don't know what happened---these past 2 weeks I LOVE him. He has started to finally feel comfortable around me and he is so funny and he tries to talk to me. Yes our conversations are short and it is mostly me trying to speak Thai to him and him trying to speak English back but I LOVE him! This week we have been learning a verse that talks about how good words need to come out of our mouths. He has an enemy in the class and I always have to make sure I seat them on opposite sides of the room, never put them in partners or even groups that are next to each other on the mats. We spent the one morning brainstorming nice things he could say to this "friend" in our class and he said one of them today! I know that that does not seem like a big step but it was just a milestone for Folk!
   Even in writing this blog post I feel blessed to work with these students. I am looking forward to next year and all the personality that class with bring, but this class is a blessing and I feel grateful for the opportunity to work with and teach them. Just if you think about pray that I would focus more on Thailand and my work here and not get distracted by things at home. The devil dividing my focus now is one of the best tools that he has against me!

decisions decisions...

Well, being a teacher is wonderful and grand but it also has some tough decisions that come along with the job! I have a student who has been on my radar all year long. He is lacking in motivation, a low level English speaker, and lacking in focus. His grades are rock bottom and he tries on nothing and turns in nothing. I had a parent teacher conference with his mom and his guardian where I had to tell them that he might be retained next year. It was a MESSY conference with much yelling in Thai (not at me, don't worry, at each other!) Since then, my student has begun to apply himself and show that he is capable of doing the work, its a little too late though because we have 2 months left of school. I am frustrated because I have been trying to get a meeting set up with them since last semester and they kept refusing. We could have solved the problem back in September instead of trying to patch things up now. I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think it is in his best interest to be held back but I also cannot pass him onto grade 4 with the work or lack there of that he has done so far. Please pray for wisdom and guidance as I seek to find the best solution to this problem. I have a couple of solutions to present to the administration this week and we will see what develops from there. Besides that also pray for my little heart. Today I am feeling homesick. I always get like this when I feel like being home again is so close and so far! AND I am feeling overworked and not fully rested so I think that is playing on my emotional state as well. I know that this wave of homesickness will probably be past before most of you even read this but I just wanted to share it now. I have to say though some amazing things have been happening in my heart lately! God has shown me a lot of hard things about myself this year and its been challenging finally truly confronting the person that I am and try to hide from people--even from myself at times. God has shown me lately that even through all the muck that I see in me He loves me more than I know and more than I deserve! He truly is all I need! I am so thankful that even though there were some rough parts that I wouldn't want to have to go back to, HE sustained me through it and I am glad I am on the other side! :) All the time God is good!